Understanding Friendship

Friendship is a distinctively personal relationship that is based on a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other. It is an in-depth relationship combining trust, support, understanding, empathy, and intimacy.

Why do we need friendships?
Friendship is a basic human need. God has created us with a desire for companionship. That’s why he said: “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). The Psalmist observed that God sets the solitary in families (Psalm 68:6).

The relations we get in this world are blood related. The only relationship, which does not relate to blood, is friendship. Thus the saying you don’t get to choose your parents and siblings, but you get to choose your friends. All of us want and need friendships. A friend can help fill many needs in our lives. The need for: Sharing an activity with someone; Communication; Being liked and appreciated; Trusting and being trusted; Confiding in someone.

Popularity does not necessarily mean you have friends who are meeting your needs. Only true/genuine friendships can help meet those needs that each of us have.

There are two kinds of friendships namely: True/genuine friendship, and False/artificial friendship. Someone might ask, 'so how can I distinguish a genuine friendship from a false friendship? Below are a few signs that can help you in such exercise.

Signs of Genuine Friendship

1. Showing kindness towards each other
2. Caring about what is really best for each other, and will have the courage to speak up if a friend is doing something that could be harmful to them and/or others
3. It is built on loyalty and trust. When you have problems a true friend will stand with you and won’t tell the whole world about what you’re going through.
4. You will give of your time, energy and other resources and will feel good about being able to help.

Signs of False Friendship
1. Exploitation (when one person is used by the other; it is based on self interest)
2. Insincerity (saying or doing things that you don't really mean)
3. Compromise (not being true to your values in order to please someone else)
4. Disloyalty or lack of loyalty (not staying by someone when they really need you)

Effects of False Friendship

• Needs are not met.
• It's hurtful and frustrating.
• Experiences can carry over into future relationships because you mistrust the motives of people you would want to trust.

The 4 Basic Levels of Friendship
Friendship has many forms and shapes. Like water or any other liquid, it takes the shape of its container. If you pour the water into a jug it takes the shape of the jug. If you pour the same water into a bowl it takes the shape of the bowl. In the same way friendships will take different shapes and sizes according to our heart’s disposition. There are four basic levels of friendship.

1. Acquaintances
An acquaintance is a person whom one knows slightly; a person with whom one has been in contact but who is not a close friend. Acquaintances are the people you say ‘hi’ to when passing. These are people you see regularly, you know their names and a bit about their lives, you share small talk with them about sports, the weather, fashion, politics etc. They make a pool of potential friends.

2. Casual Friends
These are the people with whom you are comfortable sharing activities and interests. Most friends that you make in a lifetime are casual friends. Casual friends come and go. We find them at work, at school and in many different walks of life. Casual friends are important because there aren’t any emotions involved in a casual friend.

3. Close friends
It takes time and commitment to arrive here. You trust their input and value their opinions.

4. Intimate friends
These are very special and rare friends. You will be fortunate to have five intimate friends in a lifetime. Intimate friends know your weaknesses but are willing to be understanding, challenge you to do or be better, accept the difference between the two of you and will always be there. They may be of the same or opposite sex. You can tell them secrets and not have them told.

When you know the level of each person you relate to, you will be able to avoid some of the stuff that hurts us. Some of the folks you think are close friends may actually be casual friends. In any case, do they consider you as a close friend? So, do an assessment of your friendships and you will be able to know how you are going to relate to people.

How To Make Your Way Prosperous

Let me first of all thank you for visiting my blog. I trust that the information I share here will be beneficial to you. My ultimate desire is that you will be inspired and motivated to live the life that you were created to live.

I did not choose the topic above to show you how you can become super rich, though the principle can help you to become one if that is your goal. The choice of the title was premised on the scripture below:

"This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success" (Joshua 1:8 NKJV).

This is one of my favourite Bible verses. In fact, as a young Christian I used it to encourage friends to study and memorise the Word of God. But there are more gems in this scripture than just an admonition to study and memorise the scriptures. The principles contained in this particular verse, I believe, is applicable to any dream or goal pursuit we have. Whatever you journey is, you can use the principles espoused in this scripture verse to arrive at your destination.

Every individual on earth is on a journey. You were sent here for a particular assignment. This assignment is unique to you. For you to accomplish or fulfil this assignment, you have to play your part. Need I say that God always does His part. He always fulfils His responsibility.

God says, in order to make your way ( that is, your course of life) prosperous

• You must have the Book of the Law. Not under your pillow or on your book shelf. No! You must have it in your mouth. You must eat, drink and speak the Word of the Lord - the word of promise. The book of the Law must become your very language. What information do you have and what information do you communicate? Endeavour to know everything about your journey if you are to become successful.
  

• You must meditate (ponder) on it day and night - not occasionally. It means that the Word of promise must occupy your imagination. It should be your predominant thought. You must study it and think about it.
  

• You must observe to do according to all that is written in it. It is not enough to think and speak about the word of promise, you must also do it. Your actions must be aligned to your thinking and language. Obedience to the word of promise must become your primary focus. Someone has said, "Dreams will determine what you want in life...Actions will determine what you get in life." So act on the Word today!

  
  

These are the three amazing steps to making one's way (whatever it is) prosperous. If it worked for Joshua then it will surely work for you today. I will do a follow up writing on this post later. Blessings!