OVERCOMING ADVERSITY SERIES (6)

EMBRACE THE PRESENT

In my previous post, I wrote about Releasing Your Past. I suggested a few strategies we can use to achieve that. One of those strategies was to “Embrace the Present.” I believe it is crucial to our life, if we are to move on from the pain and hurt of the past and encounter the kind of future we envision.

In today’s post, I intend to help you better understand what it means to Embrace the Present and show you exactly what you can do to better your lot and move on to you colourful future.

Adversity, whatever it means to you, is a time of change – the old conditions do not exist anymore, and new ones have come, which of course is not what you desire. Everything changes. In fact, change is an ever present in the cycles of life. Each person deals with change differently and how we handle change determines what outcome we experience.

Whatever change we experience can affect us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You may have lost a job, a loved one, or a lucrative contract. Your business might have failed, or you may have failed an examination, or you may have sustained a life altering injury. Whatever you current situation you can rise from it and become a better person.

Life is a present – the present moment, the NOW. It is not the past, because it is dead and gone – it holds no promise. Today holds the chance to build new dreams, achieve new goals and successes, and show new kindnesses and serve others. If you envision a colourful future, you must start painting portions today; for your brightest future hinges on your ability to pay attention to the present.

We destroy the present when we focus on events of the past. We tend to feel emotions which make us angry, feel fear, shame and regrets. When that happens we abandon the present, which is life, for the past, which is dead. We also annihilate the power of the present with fear, anxiety and worry and take up residence in the past or an imaginary future.

How can we embrace the present?

“Of the sons of Issachar who had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do, their chiefs were two hundred; and all their brethren were at their command” (1 Chronicles 12:32)

Clearly, for anyone to be in command in the affairs of life, they need to have an understanding of what times they are in and also know exactly what to do. Here are a few things you need to appreciate and do:

Recognise adversity as a season in your life: there are seasons in everyone’s life just as there are seasons in nature. Recognition of it will transform the quality of your life. The preacher noted: “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

See your current condition as one of those seasons. Every tree knows how to go through autumn and winter and come blooming fabulous at spring time. We all love spring time, don’t we? We too can transition from life’s autumn and winter (when we seem to lose our sparkle and all the stuff we love to rave about) to the spring and summers of life.

Do not argue with reality: what is, is. Everything that happens just “is.” There’s no point arguing and complaining about it. Your thought and attitude should not be that of a victim. That will rob you of power because your focus will be on the past – what went wrong, who is to be blamed etc, instead of finding or crafting a solution.

Choose the good in your current conditions. Every situation that looks bad has an equal amount of good. That’s the universal law of polarity, so choose to apply it to your situation; for whatever you call it, it becomes for you. The Apostle Paul knew the negative impact of arguing and complaining when he exhorted: “Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14 NLT).

Complaints work against you in three ways. First, no one wants to hear negative news about your problems. Second, complaining reinforces your own pain and discomfort. So why keep replaying painful, negative memories? Third, complaining, by itself, accomplishes nothing and diverts you from the constructive actions you could be taking to improve your situation.

Avoid Rationalisation: Do not rationalise or justify your conditions. Someone has said, “It is the talent of the weak to convince themselves they suffer for something when they suffer from something.” Refuse to play the blame game, no matter how justified you feel.

Avoid the Scarcity Mentality; Adopt an Abundant Mentality: the mindset with which we approach problems, challenges and people is very crucial to our success or otherwise. We can choose to operate or act from a scarcity or abundance mentality. But if we are going to be successful then we must consciously choose and strategise to operate and function from an abundant mentality.

People with a scarcity mindset believe that their resources are finite and that there’ is not enough to go around. They say, “look at all the resources we need,” whereas those with an abundant mindset believe that their resources are infinite – that there’s enough for everyone. . They say, “look at all the resources we have.”

Scarcity thinkers believe mistakes are disasters. They are complainers and murmurers. Abundant thinkers, on the other hand, always believe they can recover and learn from their mistakes. They are problem solvers – able to separate people from problem.

Envision the kind of future you want: as I mentioned in my previous post (Release the Past), the past is powerlessness and futility. The present is a moment of creation and power. In this present moment, you can create or design the architecture of the future you want to have. It is in this moment that you define the direction, or course for your life. You must understand that, if you are to experience anything in life you must create it in this moment. It must exist in some form right now, or it doesn’t exist at all. The seeds of the future that you want to create must be sown today.

Avoid Procrastination: Life is too short to wait a minute longer. There is no someday; there is only right now. Do not wait for perfect conditions, for none exist anywhere. Also do not wait till you have the wherewithal before you start taking action that improves your current conditions. Start now where you are, with what you have and you’ll be amazed at the progress you make. NOW is the acceptable time. Do it NOW!

Thank you for reading. I trust the information you find here is helpful. I wish you all the best! Cheerio...

OVERCOMING ADVERSITY SERIES (5)

RELEASE YOUR PAST

¹³Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, ¹⁴I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)

When adversity hits, it’s very easy to dwell on the past, especially when we encounter difficulties in trying to climb out of it. We look back and reminisce what good times we had, how life was good, even if not better and stuff like that. Some even call it “the good old days.”

They then develop what I call the “if mentality.” If I had not gone there, if I hadn’t got on that plane, if only I had stayed at home, if I had done that investment, if I hadn’t entered that relationship, if I’ve had a better education, and it goes on and on and on...As you can see, it’s all about the past and we clearly do not have any control over it.

All of us have a past – a past that brings up fond memories as well as ones that throw up unpleasant hurts and pain. The truth about our past is that it is over...there is nothing we can do to change it. It is gone forever. But anytime we think about it, we bring it back into the present moment. When we do that, instead of feeling empowered we are rather held back and shackled from taking massive action that moves us towards a better future.

Your past is no haven; it's a dingy prison!

If we keep hanging on to the issues of our past it will be a millstone around our neck, which will stop us from reaching our desired future. When we linger on past difficulties we are robbed of the power to create the future we desire. The past cannot be changed; only the future can be changed. The past is about powerlessness and futility; the present is about action and creation.

If you were to “visit” the past it should be with the intention of learning from the past. Let the past be simply a marker for what you will no longer stand for, or want to be, or how you no longer want to act. Do not let your past hold you back and sabotage your destiny.

You see, we were born with eyes in the front of our heads. If we were meant to live in the past, with blame or fault finding, we just might as well have eyes at the back of our heads. Our very design tells us that we were made to move forwards. Our bodies are articulated better for forward movement.

Many people cannot go on with their lives because they haven’t faced and dealt with the issues of their past. There hasn’t been any satisfactory resolution to past issues. One cannot have a meaningful life without proper closure to the past. As long as unresolved issues from your past are creating emotional upheaval in your life, you will not be truly in charge of your life.

While it is true that past experiences can be upsetting and very painful, allowing them to remain unresolved is to continue to decide not to be in charge of who you are, where you want to go and what your life is all about.

Even if you have problems, even if you have done things you regret, or have made mistakes, or have not played a part in the events that precipitated your past conditions, your whole life still lies ahead of you. You can recreate who you want to be. You can define where you want your life to go now. It’s your choice.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking your past is the problem. You past is not the problem; your response to your past is the problem.

So, how can one respond to the past appropriately and deal with it successfully? It is one of the hardest things to do in life. But the following suggestions may be helpful to anyone who struggles to overcome the difficult circumstances of the past:

Acceptance: you have to accept that the past is what it is - it happened, it is gone and nothing can be done to change it in anyway. It is now part of your life, but not the most important part of your life. Until we accept that reality we are never going to be able to take full control of our lives and drive towards a better future. It is a fact one has to accept and move on. Living in denial and anger will keep us locked there and rob us of power to create a desired future.

Awareness: be aware of your thoughts. When you find your thoughts dwelling on the past, gently draw your thought to the present. This is important because we become what we think all the time. In other words, we are the product of our most dominant thoughts. Our thoughts shape our lives.

Forgiveness: forgive yourself of your part in your past. You also have to forgive all those involved with your past – everyone, and anything. Do not ruminate on what you could have or should have been or done. Listen to the ancient prophet: “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old” (Isaiah 43:18).

Let the light shine in: this is an exercise of self disclosure. For you to stop being troubled by things that happened in your past, you must be able to disclose yourself to at least one person. You must be able to get those things off your chest. You must rid yourself of those thoughts and feelings by revealing them to someone who won’t make you feel guilty or ashamed for what has happened.

Embrace the present: you have to live in the present. It is in this moment that you can begin the creation of the conditions you prefer. If you are going to have a colourful future you have to start painting portions now.

Dig out the lesson: there is always a lesson in any experience. You have to find it and learn from it.

Explore a new world: your old world is gone; you can create a new one. Focus forward on what can be done, on where you want to take your life and what you want to achieve. Do not waste your time dealing with things you cannot control. Apostle Paul knew that when he said: “this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.” (Philippians 3:13)

Use positive confessions/affirmations: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof" (Proverbs 18:21). Whatever you call your situation, so shall it be for you. Friend, your words create your world. So do not speak negatively about yourself, your abilities and your conditions. Reframe your thinking and words and you will unleash the power of change into your life.

I hope these tools are helpful. May God Almighty grant you the grace to deal with your past and come out stronger. You are better than you know or can imagine. Please do come over again and take a read of the next post in the series. I will talk about how you can embrace the present. Stay empowered! Every blessing…

OVERCOMING ADVERSITY SERIES (4)

THE POWER OF PERSPECTIVE

Adversity is inevitable; all of us are set to face setbacks and various challenges in life. No one is exempt. It is only the dead who do not experience any challenges. Challenges are for the living. Job, the ancient biblical sage observed, “Man born of a woman is of a few days and full of troubles” (Job 14:1). There is always going to be challenges and obstacles to overcome but we will come up tops, if we maintain a proper perspective of the situation.

How we choose to view our circumstances and our challenges in life determines both our direction and our outcome. In other words, your perspective today will determine both your destination and rewards, or otherwise tomorrow.

Everyone can have an optimistic outlook on life when all is going well. However, many people resort to a pessimistic outlook on life when in adversity. The way you choose to handle present difficulties will impact on your future outcomes. You can both wallow in misery and dwell on the negative aspects of your situation or you can find the benefit or lesson that the problem is offering.

If you are to experience any success you will need to position your mindset for it. See yourself solving the problem you are confronted with and succeeding. When you do this, even in the midst of adversity, you will find solutions and you will achieve success.

Choose Your Perspective

We have no control over a lot of things in life. We don't get to choose our parents or the circumstances of our birth and upbringing. But we do choose our perspective. We have the power to determine our perspective on life. Our perspective must not necessarily mirror our circumstances, especially, if these are less than ideal. In other words, our perspective doesn't have to be a mere reflection of the moment we are currently experiencing.

You can bring change to your situation by the way you choose to see it. The quality of what you see depends on the perspective from which you see it.

See moments of crisis or adversity as an opportunity to make something greater happen. I understand the Chinese word for crisis is weiji, made up of two words – wei, which means danger and ji, which means opportunity. It is up to you to choose on which side of the divide you fall. Don’t think about what adversity has taken from you. Instead think of what you have and what you can do.

Friend, you are never without hope in any adversity. There is always a way out. Napoleon Hill observed that, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”

When we shift how we look at something, we open the door to new possibilities. There’s always a flip side to the difficulty. You see, a “problem” is often not a problem at all. It may actually be an opportunity. For instance, a problem may point out an adjustment you can make to improve certain conditions in your life. Without the problem, you never would have taken this positive action.

There is a tale about these two shoe salesmen who travel to a third world country in search of new business opportunities. One man calls his wife the moment he lands, telling her, “Honey, I’m coming back home. There’s no hope here. Nobody here is wearing shoes, so there’s no one to sell to.” He boards the next flight home.

The second man calls his wife and says, “Honey, you wouldn’t believe what I found here. There is so much opportunity. No one here is wearing shoes. I can sell to the whole country!”

See how powerful perspective is. The first man could not notice the huge opportunity because he did not have the right perspective of the situation. The other saw the same situation yet saw great opportunity because he interpreted the situation differently.

Ever read the Bible story about the twelve spies that were sent out to spy the land of Canaan (Numbers chapters 13 & 14)? Ten brought an evil report which stirred a whole nation negatively. Caleb and Joshua were the only two who had a good report. All twelve saw the same thing but two had a different perspective to what they saw. The Bible says, ‘they had another spirit.’ In other words they had a different way of looking at things.

They assigned a different meaning to what confronted them. They chose to walk by faith and not by sight. They did not deny the reality of what was before them; they only proffered a different view and meaning to that reality. They chose to follow God’s promise and refused to let their circumstances dictate to them what they should see and do.

Dear friend, the way you look at things (events, situations, circumstances) and the meaning you give to it goes a long way in determining the decisions and choices you make. In other words, your perspective influences your decisions.

Decide to see and interpret things differently from what is. When you do that you will empower yourself to take total charge of your life and influence your environment positively, as opposed to your environment influencing you. Get some fresh eyes and look at the same thing as it is but understand it differently.

It is important to note that success or failure is not determined by the number of challenges we face, rather by the way we choose to view and approach our challenges. Will you take the “lemons” of life and make lemonade with them or will you suck on them and make a sour face?

You can turn your perspective into a tool to overcome your present challenges or a tool to perpetuate them. So, your perspective can make or break you. You choose!

May God help you choose the right perspective in every situation you find yourself; for therein, is your victory. Every blessing...