OVERCOMING ADVERSITY SERIES (5)

RELEASE YOUR PAST

¹³Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, ¹⁴I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)

When adversity hits, it’s very easy to dwell on the past, especially when we encounter difficulties in trying to climb out of it. We look back and reminisce what good times we had, how life was good, even if not better and stuff like that. Some even call it “the good old days.”

They then develop what I call the “if mentality.” If I had not gone there, if I hadn’t got on that plane, if only I had stayed at home, if I had done that investment, if I hadn’t entered that relationship, if I’ve had a better education, and it goes on and on and on...As you can see, it’s all about the past and we clearly do not have any control over it.

All of us have a past – a past that brings up fond memories as well as ones that throw up unpleasant hurts and pain. The truth about our past is that it is over...there is nothing we can do to change it. It is gone forever. But anytime we think about it, we bring it back into the present moment. When we do that, instead of feeling empowered we are rather held back and shackled from taking massive action that moves us towards a better future.

Your past is no haven; it's a dingy prison!

If we keep hanging on to the issues of our past it will be a millstone around our neck, which will stop us from reaching our desired future. When we linger on past difficulties we are robbed of the power to create the future we desire. The past cannot be changed; only the future can be changed. The past is about powerlessness and futility; the present is about action and creation.

If you were to “visit” the past it should be with the intention of learning from the past. Let the past be simply a marker for what you will no longer stand for, or want to be, or how you no longer want to act. Do not let your past hold you back and sabotage your destiny.

You see, we were born with eyes in the front of our heads. If we were meant to live in the past, with blame or fault finding, we just might as well have eyes at the back of our heads. Our very design tells us that we were made to move forwards. Our bodies are articulated better for forward movement.

Many people cannot go on with their lives because they haven’t faced and dealt with the issues of their past. There hasn’t been any satisfactory resolution to past issues. One cannot have a meaningful life without proper closure to the past. As long as unresolved issues from your past are creating emotional upheaval in your life, you will not be truly in charge of your life.

While it is true that past experiences can be upsetting and very painful, allowing them to remain unresolved is to continue to decide not to be in charge of who you are, where you want to go and what your life is all about.

Even if you have problems, even if you have done things you regret, or have made mistakes, or have not played a part in the events that precipitated your past conditions, your whole life still lies ahead of you. You can recreate who you want to be. You can define where you want your life to go now. It’s your choice.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking your past is the problem. You past is not the problem; your response to your past is the problem.

So, how can one respond to the past appropriately and deal with it successfully? It is one of the hardest things to do in life. But the following suggestions may be helpful to anyone who struggles to overcome the difficult circumstances of the past:

Acceptance: you have to accept that the past is what it is - it happened, it is gone and nothing can be done to change it in anyway. It is now part of your life, but not the most important part of your life. Until we accept that reality we are never going to be able to take full control of our lives and drive towards a better future. It is a fact one has to accept and move on. Living in denial and anger will keep us locked there and rob us of power to create a desired future.

Awareness: be aware of your thoughts. When you find your thoughts dwelling on the past, gently draw your thought to the present. This is important because we become what we think all the time. In other words, we are the product of our most dominant thoughts. Our thoughts shape our lives.

Forgiveness: forgive yourself of your part in your past. You also have to forgive all those involved with your past – everyone, and anything. Do not ruminate on what you could have or should have been or done. Listen to the ancient prophet: “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old” (Isaiah 43:18).

Let the light shine in: this is an exercise of self disclosure. For you to stop being troubled by things that happened in your past, you must be able to disclose yourself to at least one person. You must be able to get those things off your chest. You must rid yourself of those thoughts and feelings by revealing them to someone who won’t make you feel guilty or ashamed for what has happened.

Embrace the present: you have to live in the present. It is in this moment that you can begin the creation of the conditions you prefer. If you are going to have a colourful future you have to start painting portions now.

Dig out the lesson: there is always a lesson in any experience. You have to find it and learn from it.

Explore a new world: your old world is gone; you can create a new one. Focus forward on what can be done, on where you want to take your life and what you want to achieve. Do not waste your time dealing with things you cannot control. Apostle Paul knew that when he said: “this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.” (Philippians 3:13)

Use positive confessions/affirmations: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof" (Proverbs 18:21). Whatever you call your situation, so shall it be for you. Friend, your words create your world. So do not speak negatively about yourself, your abilities and your conditions. Reframe your thinking and words and you will unleash the power of change into your life.

I hope these tools are helpful. May God Almighty grant you the grace to deal with your past and come out stronger. You are better than you know or can imagine. Please do come over again and take a read of the next post in the series. I will talk about how you can embrace the present. Stay empowered! Every blessing…